Friday, April 24
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist....Isn't that cute!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
Prevent inbreeding - ban country music.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Always remember, you're unique, just like everyone else.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Ted Kennedy has killed more people with his car than I've killed with my gun.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
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