| 1. | | I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault. |
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| 2. | | I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed. |
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| 3. | | I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me. |
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| 4. | | I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws. |
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| 5. | | Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future? |
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| 6. | | Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than I told you so! |
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| 7. | | The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. |
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| 8. | | I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. |
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| 9. | | As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath. |
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| 10. | | Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others. |
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| 11. | | My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment. |
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| 12. | | In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. |
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| 13. | | As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet. |
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| 14. | | As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun. |
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| 15. | | When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying. |
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| 16. | | Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents. |
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| | | Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom. |
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| 18. | | All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts. |
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| 19. | | I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all. |
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| 20. | | I am at one with my duality. |
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| 21. | | Joan of Arc heard voices too. |
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| 22. | | The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working. |
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| 23. | | Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears. |
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| 24. | | I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain. |
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| 25. | | False hope is better than no hope at all. |
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| 26. | | A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution. |
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| 27. | | I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage. |
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| 28. | | To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting. |
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| 29. | | Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots. |
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| 30. | | I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday. |
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| 31. | | I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. |
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| 32. | | Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot. |
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