Saturday, July 11
Monday, July 6
‘Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is
The operator said, ‘I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name
and room number?’
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, ‘Norma Findlay, Room
The operator replied, ‘Let me place you on hold while I check with her
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, ‘Oh, I
have good news.
Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure
is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician,
Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.’
The grandmother said, ‘Thank you. That’s wonderful! I was so worried!
God bless you for the good news.’
The operator replied, ‘You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your
The grandmother said, ‘No, I’m Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me
hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following
her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles
following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she
looked around, there were three cops following her.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She
screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies’ room. Ten
minutes later, she innocently walked out.
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Then,
without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of
you thought I would make it.”
wrong. “What’s the problem?” she asked. “I hope it’s not about
your homework again.”
“Well, uh, yes it is,” Little Johnny says. “I accidentally made my
homework paper into a paper airplane.”
“That wasn’t the smartest thing to do,” said the teacher, “But,
just this once, I’ll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in.”
“Sorry, but that won’t work,” Little Johnny replied, looking even
sadder. “You see, the plane was hijacked!”
Sunday, July 5
''No. You had your chance. Be quiet and go to sleep.
''A minute later the boy screamed, ''Dad!! Can you PLEASE getme a glass of water?''
''No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come upthere and spank you.
''A minute later the boy yelled, ''Dad, when you come up tospank me can you bring me a glass of water?''
Little Johnny is at it again... President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'?
So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered:
'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'> 'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.' The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.
'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'
'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.