Saturday, December 19

Good Manners

A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?

Michael said: Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?

Sherman said: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?

Johnny said I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.

The teacher fainted.

Friday, December 18

Brunette, Red head and a Blonde

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!'''