Actual Label Instructions on Consumer Goods

On a Sears hairdryer:
	Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
	You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
	Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swann frozen dinners:
	Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
	Fits one head.
On the bottom of a Tesco's Tiramisu dessert box:
	Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
	Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
	Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
	Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid:
	Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
	For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
	Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
	Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
	Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:
	Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.