THE NIGHT OF APRIL 1ST

Defense Attorney: 
Will you please state your age? 

Little Old Lady: 
I am 86 years old. 

Defense Attorney: 
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: 
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, 
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you know him? 

Little Old Lady: 
No, but he sure was friendly.. 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened after he sat down? 

Little Old Lady: 
He started to rub my thigh. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you stop him? 

Little Old Lady: 
No, I didn't stop him. 

Defense Attorney: 
Why not? 

Little Old Lady: 
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.. 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened next? 

Little Old Lady: 
He began to rub my breasts. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you stop him then? 

Little Old Lady: 
No, I did not stop him.. 

Defense Attorney: 
Why not? 

Little Old Lady: 
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened next? 

Little Old Lady: 
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 
'Take me, young man. Take me now!' 

Defense Attorney: 
Did he take you? 

Little Old Lady: 
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.