Wednesday, May 20

Exercise jokes 4

I met a friend jogging in the park. Well, he was jogging and I was sitting on a bench.

I gave up exercising when I broke my nose doing push-ups.

Don't forget, your brain needs exercise, too. Therefore, spend lots of time thinking up excuses for not working out.

Fitness nuts are going to feel really stupid lying in a hospital bed some day dying of nothing.

It's back to school time when all those kids who spent the summer at exclusive camps learning to be rugged, fit and independent, are standing on a corner waiting for the school bus to carry them three blocks to school.

You know that you're out of shape when you can't pull supermarket shopping carts apart.

These days many people get their exercise jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, dodging responsibilities, bending the rules, running down everything, circulating rumors, passing the buck, stirring up trouble, shooting the bull, digging up dirt, slinging mud, throwing their weight around, beating the system, and pushing their luck.

My figure used to be my fame, And helped me get ahead, But that was fifteen years ago, And now my fame has spread.

When I was younger, I looked forward to getting up early in the morning to exercise. Now, getting out of bed in the morning is my exercise.

Books on exercise are selling by the thousands. And there's a reason for this. It's a lot easier to read than it is to exercise.

His idea of vigorous exercise is to lift his feet while his wife is vacuuming.

This is a big day for me. Today I am taking the training wheels off my Exercycle.

I get enough exercise by stumbling about a mile each day looking for my glasses.

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