Wednesday, May 20

Hockey jokes

Hat Day. Ball Day. Hockey teams should have Denture Day.

Hockey is becoming more violent. Last night's game looked like the Mafia on ice.

Reporter to hockey player: "Did you ever break your nose?" Player: "No, but eleven other players did!"

Hockey players have been complaining about violence for years. It's just that without any teeth, no one can understand them.

They say there are three ways to play hockey: rough, rougher, and "I'll help you find your teeth if you'll help me look for mine."

Hockey players aren't always big, but their bodies are always large enough to hold all the black and blue marks they get in a game.

Our home team wasn't doing well. During a typically horrible game, none of the players had even taken a shot on goal. Finally, one got the puck and a voice from the stands yelled, "Shoot it! The wind's with you!"

The dentist complimented the goalie on his nice, even, three, seven, nine, and eleven were missing.

When I was a kid, I thought that hockey players were sent to the penalty box to sit until their fathers came home from work. Come to think of it, that isn't such a bad idea.

Just about the time they seem to be decreasing the amount of violence on TV, the Stanley Cup Playoffs come on ESPN.


A hockey puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players hit when they are not hitting each other.

Hockey is definitely too tough. I mean, what other sport has a coroner.

I've created an invention that will revolutionize hockey and make it the wildest game on earth. It's a clear Lucite puck.

I think hockey is a great game. Of course, I have a son who's a dentist.

In hockey you take a stick and hit either the puck or anyone who has touched the puck.

I knew that it was going to be a wild game when a fight broke out in the middle of the National Anthem.

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