Wednesday, May 20

Horse racing jokes

He's really considerate. He put his shirt on a horse that was scratched.

That horse is so slow the post office should buy him.

The next time that horse runs will be from a bottle of glue.

If Paul Revere had ridden this horse, we'd still be under British rule.

Two bookies were corning out of church and one said to the other, "How many times have I told you? It's hallelujah and not Hialeah."

A seven-year-old horse was entered in a big money race which it proceeded to win by seven lengths. The track manager called the owner and said,

"Your horse is seven years old and won by seven lengths. Why haven't you raced him before?"

"We would have," responded the owner, "but we didn't catch up with him until last Tuesday."

My horse was right up there with the winning horse when the race started.

I bought a horse. In its first race it went out 25 to 1. The only problem is that all the other horses left at 12:30.

He's been playing the horses for a long time. As a kid, he was the only one on the merry-go-round with a racing form.

Racetrack: A place where windows clean people.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Horses that lose are made into glue.

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