| Looking for a home? Learn to read between the lines in those real estate ads. |
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| | "Sophisticated city living" - Next to a noisy bar. |
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| | "Old World Charm" - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning. |
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| | "Contemporary feeling" - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning. |
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| | "Close to Lakes" - Impossible to park from April to October. |
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| | "Wide open floor plan" - Previous owner removed supporting walls. |
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| | "Security System" - Neighbor has a dog. |
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| | "Needs TLC" - Major structural damage. |
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| | "Updated kitchen" - Sink no longer overflows. |
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| | "Motivated seller" - Has been on the market for 14 years. |
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| | "Convenient" - Located on freeway entrance ramp. |
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| | "Mint" - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet. |
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| | "Neutral decor" - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls. |
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| | "Move in condition" - Front door missing. |
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| | "Cozy" - No room larger than 9 x 6. |
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| | "Lower level family room" - Ping Pong table over sewer opening. |
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| | "Light open spaces" - Many holes in walls and ceiling. |
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| | "Outstanding" - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb. |
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