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Valentines Day Special! My One And Only

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

Valentines Day Special! Q and A

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
Answer: "I'm sweet on you!"

What did one piece of string say to the other?
Answer: "Be my valentwine!
Answer 2: "I'm so intwined by you."

What did the letter say to the stamp?
Answer: You send me.

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Answer: I'm stuck on you.

What happened when the two tennis players met?
Answer: It was lob at first sight!
Answer 2: Nothing - the game ended Love - All!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Answer: Hogs and kisses!

What did one pickle say to the other?
Answer: "You mean a great dill to me."

What is a ram's favorite song?
Answer: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

What did one light bult say to the other?
Answer: "You light up my life!"
Answer 2: "I love you a whole watt!"

What did the vacuum cleaner say to the outlet?
Answer: "I really get a charge out of you!"

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
Answer: Forget-me-nuts.

What did the engine say to the key?
Answer: "You turn me on!"

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
Answer: "I'm sweet on you!"

What did the iPod say to it's owner?
Answer: "You make me so very appy!"

What did one calculator say to the other?
Answer: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!"

What do you call two birds in love?
Answer: Tweethearts!

What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Answer: Ughs and kisses!