Valentines Day Special! Q and A

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
Answer: "I'm sweet on you!"

What did one piece of string say to the other?
Answer: "Be my valentwine!
Answer 2: "I'm so intwined by you."

What did the letter say to the stamp?
Answer: You send me.

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Answer: I'm stuck on you.

What happened when the two tennis players met?
Answer: It was lob at first sight!
Answer 2: Nothing - the game ended Love - All!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Answer: Hogs and kisses!

What did one pickle say to the other?
Answer: "You mean a great dill to me."

What is a ram's favorite song?
Answer: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear

What did one light bult say to the other?
Answer: "You light up my life!"
Answer 2: "I love you a whole watt!"

What did the vacuum cleaner say to the outlet?
Answer: "I really get a charge out of you!"

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
Answer: Forget-me-nuts.

What did the engine say to the key?
Answer: "You turn me on!"

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
Answer: "I'm sweet on you!"

What did the iPod say to it's owner?
Answer: "You make me so very appy!"

What did one calculator say to the other?
Answer: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!"

What do you call two birds in love?
Answer: Tweethearts!

What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Answer: Ughs and kisses!

Mean Blonde Jokes

Q: Why are blonde jokes so mean?

A: Because the blondes never understand them.

Eternity

What is the definition of eternity?

Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

Blue, Brown and Purple Joke

What do you get when you come across a woman laying in the road who is blue, brown and purple?

A brunette who has been telling too many blonde jokes.

Blondes in a Freezer

Q: What do you call two blondes in a freezer
A: Frosted Flakes

Blondes and turtles

Q:What do blondes and turtles have in common?

A:If they are on their back, they're screwed

Blonde/Brown

What do you call blond, brown, blond, brown?

A blond doing a cartwell.

Blonde's test day

The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of 'yes/no' type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. 

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. 'I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers.'

Blonde's sex toy

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?

A: She has chipped teeth.

Blonde vs. Mosquito

Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A. if you slap them, at least the mosquito will stop sucking.

Blonde Underwear

Q: Why does a blonde wear underwear?

A: To keep her ankles warm.

Blonde Sweet-n-low riddle

Q. Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?

A. She thought it was Diet Coke.

Blonde Snowman

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Blonde in London

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed when she went to London?

A: She found out that Big Ben was only a clock.

Blonde Freezer Fun

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

A frosted flake!

Blonde Firing Offence

Q. Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

A. Drinking on the job

Bass Player

Q. How do you know when your bass player arrives?  A. He knocks on the door, but forgets to come in!

Froglights!

|What jumps up and down in front of a car? Froglights!

JFK Jnr

Why didn't JFK Jr take a shower before be left for the Vineyard?
He said he'd wash up on shore.

Hear about Kennedy Airlines? 
Their motto is 'Your luggage will arrive before you do!'

What do Kennedy's miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
The runway.

How did JFK Jr learn to fly? 
Crash course.

How are the Kennedy's like oil?
They don't mix well with water.

Why aren't there more JFK Jr jokes out there?
They just haven't surfaced yet.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? 

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.