Holy Mother

A recent Irish League match between Newry and Larne, the visitors were awarded  a penalty and the

 captain summoned his best player and said, 'I want you to take  this one, Patrick. Just think hard as

 you kick -think which way the wind is  blowing, and think which direction the keeper's going to jump.

' 'Holy Mother!' said Patrick. 'Do you expect me to think and kick at the same  time?'