Couch Airbag Explosion Prank

Gabriel Iglesias "gift basket story " ( uncensored )

The Good Old Days Before Computers

REMEMBER WHEN...

A Computer Was Something On TV

From A Science Fiction Show

A Window Was Something You Hated To Clean....

And RAM Was The Cousin Of A Goat...

Meg Was The Name Of My Girlfriend

And Gig Was Your Middle Finger Upright

Now They All Mean Different Things

And That Really Mega Bytes

An Application Was For Employment

A Program Was A TV Show

A Cursor Used Profanity

A Keyboard Was A Piano

Memory Was Something That You Lost With Age

A CD Was A Bank Account

And If You Had A 3 1/2" Floppy

You Hoped Nobody Found Out

Compress Was Something You Did To The Garbage

Not Something You Did To A File

And If You Unzipped Anything In Public

You'd Be In Jail For A While

Log On Was Adding Wood To The Fire

Hard Drive Was A Long Trip On The Road

A Mouse Pad Was Where A Mouse Lived

And A Backup Happened To Your Commode

Cut You Did With A Pocket Knife

Paste You Did With Glue

A Web Was A Spider's Home

And A Virus Was The Flu

I Guess I'll Stick To My Pad And Paper

And The Memory In My Head

Nobody's Been Killed In A Computer Crash

But When It Happens They Wish They Were Dead

Computer Acronyms !!

Computer Acronyms !! Do You Know What They Really Mean!

• PCMCIA:- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
• ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
• APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Loving Entity
• SCSI: System Can't See It
• DOS: Defective Operating System
• BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
• IBM: I Blame Microsoft
• DEC: Do Expect Cuts
• CD-ROM: Consumer Device - Rendered Obsolete in Months
• OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
• WWW: World Wide Wait
• MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
• PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
• AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
• LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
• MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
• WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
• MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
• RISC: Reduced Into Silly Code

Funny computer quotes

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
-- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, president, chairman/founder of Digital Equipment Corp.,1977

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet."'
-- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer