When he was fined for using last year's hunting license, Zeke claimed, "I was only shooting at the ones I missed last year."
I'll never go moose hunting again. I didn't mind carrying the big gun, but the 200-pound decoy was a real drag.
He bought a hunting jacket with a Velcro closing. He accidentally rubbed up against a moose and got dragged through the woods for five miles.
A hunting foursome paired off. Late at night, one returned dragging an eight-point buck.
"Where's Bill?" inquired the other two.
"He had a heart attack a couple miles back up the trail."
"You mean you left Bill to drag the deer back here?"
"Yeah. It was a tough decision, but I figured that nobody would steal Bill."
A group of hunters fully equipped with rifles, ammo and camping supplies, came upon a young boy armed only with a slingshot.
"What are you hunting for?" asked an older hunter.
"I don't know. I ain't seen it yet," said the boy.
He loves to hunt, but he doesn't own a gun. He just drives the Chevy down to the deer crossing and waits.
A hunter was boring his guests with tales of his safari. Pointing to a tiger rug, he related, "It was either him or me."
"It was a good thing it was the tiger, Bob," said an acquaintance. "You would've made a lousy rug."
First hunter:"We've been here all day and haven't bagged a thing."
Second hunter: "Yeah, let's miss two more each and then head home."
Two men went duck hunting. Five hours passed with no luck. Finally, one of the men said to the other, "Maybe we ought to try throwing the dogs a little bit higher."
A motorist ran over the hunter's favorite coon hound. He went to the hunter's house and told the hunter's wife what happened. She said, "He's out in the field, so you'd better tell him. But break it to him gently. First tell him it was me."
A greenhorn was telling his buddy what a great hunter he was. When they arrived at their cabin, the greenhorn said,
"You get the fire started and I'll go shoot us something for supper."
After a few minutes, the greenhorn met a grizzly bear. He dropped his gun, headed for the cabin, with the bear in hot pursuit. When he was a few feet away from the cabin, the greenhorn tripped over a log. The bear couldn't stop and skidded through the open cabin door. The greenhorn got up, slammed the door, and yelled to his friend inside,
"You skin that one, and I'll go get us another one!"