He doesn't have a good sense of the strike zone. He once swung at a ball that the pitcher threw to first trying to pick a runner off.
The team is working on a microwave bullpen to give their relievers faster warm-ups.
The best thing about playing for the Cubs is that you never have to worry about anyone stealing your World Series ring.
I don't like Astroturf. I think baseball fields should be covered like in the old days—with hot dog wrappers and beverage cans.
When I was a Little Leaguer I had trouble putting on my helmet because I couldn't get my ears through those little holes.
I could have been a professional athlete. My problem in baseball was that I could never hit a curve ball. My problem in golf is that I always did.
The only thing that stays in the cellar longer than those losers is a furnace.
A fan yelled to the catcher: "Hey, the only thing that you know about pitching is that you can't hit it!"
I remember when I was a rookie I slid into home in a mighty cloud of dust. Unfortunately, I was coming to bat at the time.
I was a non-violent baseball player. I could go for weeks at a time without hitting anything.